"Stop." Miranda giggled trying to put the key in the door. Eli had his hands wrapped around her waist and her face in her neck.
Hearing a noise she turned her head quickly to look down the hallway. Her face flushed with embarrassment when she saw Ben standing there. Reading his facial expression she knew he was hurt, especially considering the position she was in with Eli.
"I was just coming to give you these." Ben responded pushing the beautifully wrapped gifts into her hand.
"Ben." Miranda started staring into his eyes. She could see the many emotions flashing through them.
"No it's fine. Tape and glue." He stated harshly, turning to walkway. "Merry Christmas Dr. Bailey."
"Benjamin." Miranda called after him.
"Who was that?" Eli questioned.
"No one." She returned
"Clearly its not no one."
"My ex." Miranda huffed opening the door. She honestly wanted to run after him, but she didn't want to leave Eli standing there.
"You two been broken up for long?"
"Three months...Eli I can't do this tonight."
"I figured that was coming."
"I'm sorry."
"It's okay have a good night."
"You too." Miranda said sadly.
"Hopefully I will see you at work tomorrow." He winked before kissing her cheek
"I’m on-call tomorrow." She answered.
"Perfect." Eli smiled before leaving.
Miranda huffed and wiped her hand over her face. She sat her purse down and walked to put the gifts under the tree that she assumed was for Tuck. Sitting them down one by one her eyes widened seeing that two of them were hers.
She carried them to her bedroom and sat them down on the bed.
Miranda stared at the two gift for a while before she went and took a long shower. She thought about Ben the whole time and couldn't get his beautiful sad brown eyes out her head.
Sitting on the bed Miranda brought the gold wrapped box between her legs and pulled the white bow off. She chuckled lightly at all the tape he used. He clearly wasn't good at wrapping gifts. She pulled the wrapping paper apart and looked at the box in front of her. "Galaxy projector- enjoy your own home planetarium."
"Oh my goodness." She exclaimed opening it up. Miranda quickly read the directions and plugged the device in behind her night stand. She got off the bed and cut the light off so her room would be dark. She walked over and hit the button clicking to a regular night sky.
"Wow this is amazing." Miranda mumbled before clicking to another one. Miranda awed the projection of the Milky way, it was absolutely stunning. Switching to the solar system she stared up at the planets and asteroid belt combined. She laid back for a moment staring at everything and thinking about him.
She messed up badly she never intended for him to know about Eli. Even though she wasn't ready for a relationship right now and the kind of thing they were doing. She never wanted to hurt him. Feeling paper under her she pulled it out and saw a white card with his handwriting. Miranda picked up the note and read what it said. "Miranda, I just wanted to bring space to you. You deserve to see every star and every galaxy. You deserve the world- Love Benjamin."
Miranda let her tears fall. That was the sweetest thing ever and she didn't even have the heart to open the next gift. It was a smaller box that was red and the ribbon was green.
Sitting up she opened the box and gasped. The bracelet inside was beautiful. It was a simple sterling silver chain but the pendant in the center was a diamond encrusted compass. Miranda flipped it over and read the back of it. "May you always find your way back home."
"Damn it Ben." Miranda yelled at his sweetness. She grabbed her phone and scrolled to his number. She wanted to call but she knew he wasn't going to answer so just sent a text message.
"Thank you for the gifts. They were both so thoughtful and the bracelet is beautiful...Can we talk?"
Waiting on a response she fell asleep looking up at the constellations.
By the time Ben made it back outside he had to stand and breathe for a second. He felt his eye watering and looked up in hopes they wouldn't fall. He refused to literally cry over this woman. He had never done it before and he wouldn't start now. Even if his chest felt like it was caving in. This is why he didn't do love. This hurt worst than anything he had ever experienced in his life. It was his first heartbreak so he assumed this was to be expected, but one thing he knew for sure was that he was never doing that again ,falling in love per se.
But was that fair to someone else. In the beginning he was the kind of man that didn't want to be tied down but now that was all he wanted. He wanted to be with one woman and have children, and a life.
Maybe he rushed it ideally no one ends up with their first love.
After pulling himself together Ben went straight to the bar. Not Joe's bar, but a bar 10 minutes from the hospital. Him and Miranda went there after work some days because it was in between their apartments and they had restaurant quality food. To forget about her he ordered a whiskey straight. It didn't numb the pain properly, so he ordered another one. After 3 more the pain was almost completely gone, so was his conscience to be honest.
He liked that. After the alcohol did its job so well, he came back to that bar the next day. And the next day and a few others. He was always sitting alone, chatting mostly to bartenders.
On new year's eve Ben got dressed for the hospitals party. He honestly didn't want to go but he told a few guys in his department that he would so that’s how he found himself at the venue. The party was crowded, but a fun crowded.
He was handed and champagne glass when he walked in. Ben stood by a table and sat his drink down after tasting it. He watched every one on the dance floor with their significant others and he turned away.
"Hey Ben you ok?" Faye questioned coming to stand beside him.
"Hey, I'm good." Ben answered.
"You look tense." She noted tilting her head at him.
"I'm just a little tired." He lied.
"Where's Dr. Bailey?" She asked looking around the room.
"I wouldn't know. We are not together."
"Oh I'm sorry."
"Don't be. We've been broken up for months. "Apparently." he said to himself.
"Can I sit." She gestured to the seat by him.
"Of course." He smiled.
"I've decided to go back to school." She confessed smiling.
"Really to do what?"
"Obgyn."
"Wow good for you. I'm thinking about a career switch myself."
"Thanks I figured why not. I love the work I'm doing now, why not do it all the way and get paid more. What are you thinking about switching too?"
"Becoming a surgeon. I was looking at application's I just haven't filled them out yet."
"Well I think you should fill them out. Its literally a new year in 45 minutes. You have to do it."
"I will." He smiled.
"Ok now that that's settled what are you drinking?"
"Champagne."
"I thought so." She responded taking his glass and sipping it. Ben watched as she scrunched her face up at the taste.
"That is horrible."
"Yeah its not good, I think its the brand. I just have it because they were passing it out when I arrived."
"Let's get something from the bar. Like a Blood orange champagne mule. It will give this champagne some flavor." She insisted grabbing his hand to pull him in that direction.
"Lead the way." Ben smiled. He looked at her body in the white dress she was wearing. She looked good and she definitely had curves. More than the last time he seen her. Well he guessed she probably had them at the hospital but he never thought to look at her that way. She was blessed. Most woman wanted an hourglass figure and she had it. But he liked that her waist wasn't small.
"You dyed your hair?" Ben questioned.
"You noticed."
"Yeah its a lighter brown than normal."
"Thank you for noticing."
"Um no problem."
"What can I get for you?" The bartender asked.
"Two blood orange champagne mules."
"Coming right up."
Once they got their drinks they made a toast before sipping it.
"This is actually really good. I never had it before." Ben answered truthfully.
"These were my college days hanging out at the expensive bars."
"You don’t strike me as the type."
"I didn't like regular parties with our age group. I did go to them but I mostly went downtown with the businessmen, you get a lot of free drinks." She laughed. "But you in college strike me as wild Benjamin Warren. Hell you were wild as an intern and resident."
"That’s not true." He disagreed drinking his drink again.
"Which part?"
"I was wild in college but not as an intern and a resident."
"You slept with a lot of my friends and coworkers."
Ben pursed his lips. "That may or may not be true."
"It is true. I’m not bothered by it or anything like that. Its just confirmed what I said."
"Well I've turned over a new leaf." He added seriously.
"And what leaf is that?"
"The wildness. Eventually it gets old."
"Yeah it gets old and then you mature." She agreed.
"Exactly."
Ben talked to Faye for a few more minutes until the new year count down started. They stood up with everyone else and watched the big projector.
Faye looked over at Ben when it got to 10 seconds. She was excitedly shouting the number and contemplating on whether she should kiss him.
"5...4...3...2...1."
And then she did it. She kissed him. And not some polite peck or perfunctory New Year's thing, she kissed him for real; her lips pressed hard against his, sure and deliberate. He opened his mouth to try and breathe and her tongue crushed against his. Ben kissed her back softly before taking charge. He kissed her roughly and grabbed her by her thick hips.
Somehow without even thinking they ended up back at his house and naked.
Ben kissed her neck and breast while putting a condom on. He lined himself up with her entrance and pushed slowly in. He watched as Faye pushed her head into his pillows and grabbed his arm.
"Damn." Ben mumbled into her neck as he stroked her deeply. This, this is what he needed.
"Ooh yes." She gasped.
After a while Ben picked up the speed and began to thrust into her harder and faster. He listened to her loud moans as she begged him not to stop.
He moved her legs from around his waist and pushed them against her chest, opening her up more.
"Fuck Benjamin." She moaned and pulled him closer, kissing his lips. She knew she would cum in a minute and it was going to be glorious. She hadn't had sex in months and neither had he.
"I'm going to cum." She told him and Ben continued pounding into her harder. He reached down and rubbed her clit applying immense pressure. “Oh God I’m cuming I’m cuming yes..." she chanted as her orgasm took over squeezing Ben tightly forcing him to cum.
"God." He breathed pulling out of her and then laying down beside her.
The next morning Ben looked over at the woman in his bed and remembered all the mornings when Miranda was lying there. Jesus, even in bed with another woman he was thinking of Miranda! He sat up and placed his feet on the floor and stretched.
"Good morning." She chimed from behind him and Ben turned around.
"Morning." He repeated looking her over. Her hair was all wild and curly.
"My hair must look a mess." She laughed taking her hand and moving it from out of her face.
"No your hair looks fine. I like it."
"Then what’s wrong you look perplexed."
"Its just last night was a--" he started and was cut off.
"You regret having sex with me?" She question looking hurt. Ben didn't regret sleeping with her. He regretted the time frame. It was too soon and he didn't want to start one of their flings.
"No no. I don't regret it at all." He said quickly trying to appease her.
"Oh ok." She breathed wrapping the sheet around her naked body.
"I just... I'm at the point in my life where I don't want something casual, so I can't start this with you."
"I'm kind of offended that you would assume that I want something just casual. Or that im that girl."
"I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that either."
"I had sex with you years ago and last night yes, but I do want a relationship and to be with someone."
"I really didn't mean to assume that you didn't."
"So Benjamin, do you want to go out with me sometime? How about a movie and dinner?"
"I would like that. Do you want breakfast?"
"I would love some coffee."
"Coffee I was thinking more of a mimosa."
"You cooking or do I need to get up."
"I can cook. Just tell me what you want?"
"I'll help you. Can I borrow a shirt? I can't put that dress on right now." She chuckled lightly.
"Yeah let me get one." Ben walked over to the drawer and opened it when he saw all of Miranda's things he quickly shut it back and went to another one. Finding a basic white shirt he handed her the shirt and she slid it over her naked body.
"I'm going to take a shower right quick. You can use the one in here and there is soap and a extra toothbrush under the sink, lotions and all of that stuff is there too. I'll bring you a washcloth in a second."
"Or....We could just take a shower together." She smiled before biting her lip.
Ben looked at her and a smile creeped onto his face. He walked over and grabbed a condom off the nightstand and then lifted her up causing her to laugh loudly.
