We Didn't Make It After All

Chapter Nineteen

The days passed by the way they knew best, uncaring of our grief. As the winter's cruel bite faded into March's gentle caress, the once barren suburban wastelands gave way to the perennial hope of spring. Even then, I found in myself only a greater darkness, a darkness that led me to wonder how the world could be so apathetic to the cruelties it subjected us to. I wondered why we had not yet evolved out of our tendency to feel so hollow, why our biology thought that was worth preserving—and I wondered why Ezra's ghost followed me everywhere I went, why I could not move on.

I trudged along the field, exiting the arena after one of our most important games of the season. He would be so proud if he was here, to see his boys win against the San City Sea Dragons. The entire world had been watching, awaiting Holden's defeat, but Anderson had taken the field by a storm in the final minutes of the game. With little time for the Sea Dragons to recover, it was done. The underdogs had won.

How would we celebrate if you were still here, Ezra? Would we go on another one of our infamous drives across Holden? Would we find a cliffside to sit by, get high and speculate about what the future held? Would we sit on the very edge, our feet dangling the air, as I poured onto you my foolish jurisdictions about love—about how far I had come since back then? How I was leaving for San City in less than three months for university, how I was winning the war against forgetting—how I was certain I would never forget you, not even in old age when met with a fate of delirium.

A sense of foreboding jolted me into reality as taut arms grabbed me by my knees, swinging me into the air.  "And just where do you think you're going, Larson?"

It took me a second to register the familiar blonde hair. Anderson. Behind us, the sound of Bella's laughter filled the vicinity. I smiled weakly at him. "Please put me down, Anderson."

"Bella, she's moping again."

"I am not."

"You totally are."

"I'm not."

"You are."

"Bella, tell him to put me down."

"Put her down, Anderson."

He tossed me over his shoulders. "Never."

As he turned us around, I caught a glimpse of Teo walking beside Bella. "Good game Teo," I said.

"Thank you, Narnie bear."

Anderson shook his head. "Wow, Narnie. Just make it a little more obvious you like Teo more than me."

Bella rolled her eyes. "Everyone likes Teo more than you, Andy."

"Even you?"

Bella looked away, her cheeks reddening. Sol slipped between her and Teo, making herself known. "Micah texted! He's pulling up."

Anderson chuckled. "Do you two ever stop texting?"

"Yeah, when we go to sleep, duh."

"You two don't sleep," Bella pointed out.

"What do you even talk about at this point?" Anderson asked.

Sol shrugged. "N.O.Y.B."

"N.O.Y.B?"

"None of your business."

"Oh, wow. So witty. Wow."

As the two continued to bicker, Micah pulled into the parking lot. Sol rushed up to him as he exited his car, engulfing him in a hug. "Baby!"

He chuckled, rubbing the back of her neck. "Hi, Solita."

She held his hands in trepidation, maybe fearing that he would disappear. He would soon. Any day now.