love her madly; negan

18; forgiveness

Elizabeth's kitchen was full that evening, with everyone gathering together to dine with the King. The room was warm as the stearin of the candles dripped further and further down, the light the candles offered was dull, wrapping them all in a warm glow.

Ezekiel was filled with joy seemingly, his laughter often ringing through the air – she was sitting directly opposite her father, and Elizabeth felt equally happy at the sight of her family gathering together. Daryl, Rick and Michonne sat close by Ezekiel, and in between the King and Elizabeth sat Negan. He held her under the table, and she loved the feeling of his touch against her thigh. Siddiq, Carl, Enid and Tara were also present, as well as Gabriel and Rosita. It felt like a truly wholesome and kind moment, and Negan felt it too.

The glass of red wine in front of her was empty, but not for long; a mere ten seconds passed before Ezekiel filled her glass up again, clearly ecstatic to be reunited with the ones he held closest to his heart. With a bit of booze in their bodies, people seemed to let their inhibitions against Negan go – things felt normal, in a very unnatural way, but Elizabeth was too happy to care.

"It was before the outbreak," Rosita said, and all attention turned to her. They had calmed down and a more mellow conversation settled over the group when Tara decided to tell the story of her first kill. Soon after Enid followed, and now, Rosita was opening up. "I served in Afghanistan a couple years before the outbreak. I was a trained soldier but also a mechanic and spent most of my time in the workshop, but in the end, I had to go with the troops. It was mostly waiting, sitting around and hoping that nothing would happen... until it did," she said with a hoarse and light voice, looking up at the group with a blank expression.

Elizabeth watched Rosita carefully as she spoke, realizing that the woman rarely spoke of her life before the apocalypse. To be fair, most of them seemed to avoid the subject, knowing it hurt to deal with. Elizabeth had come to understand that Rosita had military experience, but she never knew she'd served abroad.

"Explains a lot, really," Gabriel muttered, and Rosita looked over at him with a questioning expression.

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

Elizabeth gave Gabriel a look, and she understood that he'd probably not realized he'd said it aloud. So, he scrambled, looking at Rosita with a smile. "It explains why you're so actionable and well at handling yourself, of course. Guess that's what you and-" he cut himself off, though everyone knew what he was about to say.

"First person I killed was Shane," Carl said then, trying to take away from the strange atmosphere that quickly built in the room at the thought of Abraham, while the man who'd executed him sat across them. Rick huffed and looked down in the table, shaking his head.

"Carl, you didn't kill him."

"I might as well have," he said, shrugging his shoulders. Elizabeth's attention perked at the mention of the late man, whom they never spoke about. Elizabeth had never gotten to know exactly what happened, mostly because neither Carl nor Rick were interested in talking about it. She'd assumed that would go in the grave with the two of them.

"What really happened there?" Elizabeth said, feeling Negan's hand on her thigh. Rick looked up at her with a sigh, taking a few sips of his drink, before opening his mouth.

"It was him or me at that point," he said, looking away. "He took me out to the field, wanted me to raise my gun at him so he could kill me in good conscience," Rick huffed. "I stabbed him in the chest, watched him die."

"But why?" Elizabeth asked, eyebrows furrowed.

"He loved your mother, you know," Rick said, nodding his head. "I think she loved him too. I was in the way for them, he thought. There was just so much that didn't work for him – I became the leader, while he felt he was better suited. I regained my family after he thought he'd replaced me. There was just too much that he couldn't deal with."