The Greatest Prank

Ch 9

"Let me get this straight. You're my godfather. You were framed by a fourth member of your gang. You broke out and have some reasonable paranoia about Richard. You are also from a rather Dark family that had some creativity to people who pissed you off. Am I getting this right so far?" asked Harry a little too calmly for Sirius' sanity.

"Why aren't you freaking out about all this?"

"You're talking to the one who actually brought Richard in as a joke to break the one-year DADA curse, helped stuff Moaning Myrtle in a toilet for the better part of a year, exploded a good portion of the toilets to get her out, set several Slytherins on fire in the name of homework, and is currently working to get Dumbledore to choke on those damn lemon candies of his. Besides, we also have a deal with Snape. He leaves me alone and we don't set his greasy hair on fire for the third time in a week."

Sirius' jaw dropped with each prank, and if he had a tail he would have been wagging it like no tomorrow at the mention of setting Snape's hair on fire.

"Now, we have a few options. One, you could stay a 'guest' here in the dungeons. Two, I could make you the chief torturer with this Pettigrew as your first 'client', along with any Death Eater who piss me off too much to just set on fire to see them burn. Or three, we go our separate ways and you try to stay ahead of the Dementors," said Harry calmly.

Sirius didn't have to think about it.

"What was option two again?" he asked.

So what if his godson was a pyromaniac and more than slightly unhinged? Merlin only knew how well he would get along with his mother, may the bitch rot in whatever unholy hell she fell into when she finally died.

Hmm...maybe he could ask Richard to see she got extra special treatment. He was Lord of the Thirteen Hells...maybe he had some pull with whichever one she landed in.

Harry grinned. It looked like he had his chief torturer and guide to the pure bloods.

Gnarl wiped a fake tear from his eye. They grew up so fast these days. And Harry was a charismatic inspiration. The way he played Black like a fiddle... it was beautiful.

"Almost hard to believe he convinced me to teach a bunch of snot nosed brats."

Though teach wasn't the word most would use.

"It's so hard to find good Overlords these days. I blame modern society and it's stupidity," said Gnarl.

"I agree. It's almost impossible to find a decent questing partner. Even Cale wasn't as bad as this current lot..." said Richard, before an idea occurred to him. "Think Harry would agree to set up mindless quests to toughen up the current generation and make things interesting again?"

"You know you only need to bribe me with the proper form of chaos," said Harry, having heard that comment.

Sirius was in his dog form, wagging his tail.

He heard the word chaos and he liked it. Harry had promised pictures and memories of the chaos he had brought to Hogwarts. The sheer thought of setting Snape on fire was enough to bring a massive grin to his doggy face.

The twins had to bargain with their mother just to get out of her sight. The woman had become increasingly paranoid of late since Black escaped, and frankly they were sick of being coddled. Though Harry's request for them to bring Ron's pet rat was odd.

It didn't take much to fake Scabber's death and Harry agreed to pay for a new pet for Ron had been enough incentive. They didn't know why he wanted the stupid rat, or why they had to put him into a cage nearly impossible to escape from.