I Do (second chances series)

Wanting and loving

It's been a week I'm renting a small apartment..until Jack and I can figure out what we want for our family.

I'm not going to lie it hurts it feels like someone stabbed me in the chest.. The twins asked me why we live here..I have no idea what to say to them..I mean I know jacks hurting too but he made a big mistake and I know he probably didn't mean it  we were in a bad time at that time but it's to big of a problem for me to fix or just look past it..I question our relationship..were did he go for the business trip? If he hasn't been cheating recently then why was he with her? Does he not love me?

if Jack wants us back he's going to find a way to fix the mess he made..I'm tired of fixing things by myself right now I just want my kids to have the best life and I'm going to make it possible.

Jacks pov:
Lily is bringing the kids later on and I've ask her if we can talk..she's calmed down a lot I feel terrible for what I've done to her..I know there's no excuses for what I've done and even if me and Lily were in bad times I know I should've avoided the situation completely..I miss her..her love..her kisses I miss the kids being here..I don't want Jasmin to grow up without me there 24/7..no girl compares to lily and I've realized that now and I want her and I'm going to fight for her.

The door bell rang.

"Hey."I looked at lily as I helped her with Jasmin she didn't respond. The kids went inside and played they didn't even talk to me.

She held Jasmin in her arms.she was so tiny so fragile."can I hold her?"I've barely held her since she was born.

Lily nodded and pass her to me.she started to move around and then she started crying.

"Here give her to me.."she trailed off"your touch is foreign to her."she whispered so I wouldn't hear but I did and it hurt me to know my baby doesn't even want to be with me.

"So where are you staying?"I asked her as she covered the baby.

"I've rented an apartment for a couple  months until I can get everything settled down."she didn't look at me.

"Oh well you know we have extra rooms here if you want to stay I can leave."I looked at her admiring her.

"I don't want to be in this house especially since this is the place you brought the girl here.."her eyes looked glossy she was ready to break..still no eye contact.

I sighed "I know I made a mistake especially because I never had the attention to do it. I'm loosing everything important to me and I can't sit here and watch you leave lily..the boys don't want to look at me I know they know something's wrong the baby doesn't even want me to hold her."tear escaped.

"You guys mean the world to me and I would do anything to have you back with me please lily..ill fix this all I want is to be with my family the only girl I want to love is you..."I trailed off her tears escaped but still no eye contact.

"Can you at least look at me?"I said softly.

She looked up at me her eyes were red she had dark circles under her eyes. She's been crying herself to sleep."I'm sorry I can't even look at you without crying you don't know how I feel I love you and-and I'm to the point that it doesn't matter if I'm with you or not..what's the point of being with someone who I have to constantly worry about their feelings towards me.."tears rushed down her cheek she put the baby in the car seat next to her.

"I don't think I can do this."she looked away. My heart broke.