I Want To Date My English Teacher

Textbook Logic

Textbook Logic

Mr Floyd wasn't in school the rest of the week.

I didn't know why, and I hadn't spoke to him. I didn't even have his phone number; I couldn't text him or call him to make sure he was alright.

I had to worry about him in silence.

Of course, Aria and Tessa had noticed he wasn't in school. We'd had several different cover teachers in English, and everyone in the class was wondering where he had gone and if he was coming back any time soon.

It wasn't that our class was missing him; they were enjoying the cover lessons and his absence.

The truth of the matter is that our class is just full of nosy teenagers who want to know where our teacher is.

I'd been so concerned about Mr Floyd my birthday had swung around so fast I didn't notice until it hit me.

It only dawned on me that it was my birthday tomorrow when my parents began giving me presents, the night before, as it is tradition in our family.

I was very grateful for the presents they'd given me. They'd gotten me the perfume I wanted, and the shoes I thought were too expensive to buy.

It had been a late night last night with the pre-birthday celebrations, so I'd totally forgotten what was coming on the morning of my birthday.

Sleepily, I stumble down the stairs, and am greeted by the whole of my family. I realise why they're all standing there, and I moan, putting a hand over my eyes.

"No guys I don't need this song, really it's alright now, I don't..."

"Karen"

That was Aaron, singing my name.

"Karen"

And that was Mum, joining in the song.

"Karen"

And that was Dad, clearly conducting the whole shenanigan.

They all fall silent, and I grimace, knowing what is coming next.

"From Mandy, Aaron and Darren

We sing happy birthday to you Karen!

We hope you have a lovely time

Even with school today, never mind!

You're the best of any teen

Happy birthday Karen, you're seventeen!"

They all sing together, and I sigh. I am slightly impressed, and it did rhyme after all.

Every year since I can remember, my family have written a new birthday rhyme for me. We have a new birthday rhyme every year for every one of our birthdays.

Every year my song gets shorter, which I appreciate. Last year Aaron's song mentioned dragons and cars, and went on for about five minutes. We couldn't sing that one in unison, so Dad had to divide up the verses and order us to learn them.

It's still funny to watch and take part in, and it makes me feel like I'm still part of the family, no matter how old I get, so I don't really mind.

Even if I am getting a bit old for it and it is a bit embarrassing.

My little brother Aaron looks so happy, and incredibly pleased with himself for remembering the song. Although I do notice the lyrics Dad's written on a piece of paper poking out from the waistband of Aaron's pyjamas, but I don't say anything.

Aaron is wearing this big childish grin and holding out a ridiculously over sized badge with the number seventeen in sparkly writing. I walk down the stairs, and crouch down, and he goes to pin it on me.