You're no good for me - Negan x Reader

3.

Days passed without seeing Negan, I avoided the garden. Thoughts of him still passed my mind from time to time. Today was my day off and I was going to hang out with Jasmine and Jamie. I woke up early that morning, I was excited to see the people who would hopefully soon be my new friends. I jumped in the shower, sighing as the warm water washed over me. I decided I was going to try and look my best. Stepping out of the shower, feeling refreshed and energized, I quickly dried off and started to blow dry my hair. Maybe I will apply a little bit of makeup, a while ago I picked up just a tube of mascara and clear lip gloss from the commissary. I'm not really sure why. I hadn't worn makeup since high school, since before the world went to shit. Maybe it would feel nice to feel like normal, like old times.

I pulled on a plain white t-shirt and a pair of blue jeans that felt a little too tight. At least they made my ass look good. Looking in the mirror I felt a bit ridiculous. I looked pretty, and it was just odd. I don't remember the last time I've felt pretty. All these years living in this god forsaken world, I've been caked in dirt and gore. Whenever I wasn't absolutely filthy, I just looked plain. I grabbed a bottle of vanilla scented perfume and sprayed a couple pumps all over, hopefully the smell would last. I glanced at my digital clock and saw that it was almost 8 am. I still had time to kill before meeting up with Jasmine and Jamie. I felt a sudden rush of anxiety at the thought of seeing them. My mind was going 100mph with thoughts of self doubt, what if they don't like me? What if I say something weird? Ridiculous scenarios were whirring through my brain. "ugh!" I shouted as I slammed my hands down onto the bathroom counter. Just breathe. I stared at my reflection, breathing in through my nose and out my mouth. I finally calmed down and started to giggle a bit. I realized how lucky I was that social anxiety was at the top of my list of worries right now. I could be starving in the woods fighting off the dead with my bare hands right now. I felt silly, but it was okay.

My stomach growled as I cooked myself a large breakfast. today was going too be a good day, I decided. I enjoyed my breakfast, cleaned up the house a bit and got to enjoy some of my book. It was now 9:23. I grabbed my satchel and made my way out of the door. The three of us agreed to meet at Jasmines house. I enjoyed the short walk to her house, the sun warming my skin and the breeze lightly tickling my skin. I had forgotten that her house was right next to the garden. I picked up the pace, suddenly feeling nervous. I didn't even glance towards the garden, I wasn't going to think of him, let alone look at him. I found my way to Jasmine's front door, politely knocking. A couple seconds passed before she opened the door, greeting me cheerfully. "come on in!" she led me inside and I smiled at her. sitting at the kitchen table was Jamie. "Good morning Y/N." Jamie said with a smile. We all sat down around the table. There was light classical music playing in the background, I looked around and noticed Jasmine had a record player. "That's very lovely." I say, pointing at it. "Thank you dear, I have lots of records if you ever want to look through them and play something." I nodded politely feeling a bit awkward, not sure what to say next. The thing I hate most about myself is that I'm always stuck in my own head.

Jasmine seemed to be able to read me very easily "There is nothing to worry about Y/N" she grabbed my hand "I want you to feel comfortable with me, I'm your friend." Jamie smiled and nodded his head in agreement. I couldn't help but smile. "Thank you. just give me a little time I promise I'm not always so weird." I said with a giggle. "Let's go on a walk. I want to show you something." Jasmine grabbed my hand and pulled me from my seat. The three of us left the house without a second thought. We walked quite leisurely throughout Alexandria, The day was honestly beautiful. I could feel my anxiety slipping away.

Jasmine led us to a back wall of the community. The wall felt 100 feet tall, looking up at it. Jasmine suddenly started climbing up with Jaime soon following after. "Wait what are we doing?" I ask a bit nervously. "We are climbing the wall." Jaime said with a chuckle. "Come on!" Jasmine called after me. "Yeah but I mean are we allowed to? Is it safe?" They both laughed at my reluctance. "Who cares, we are adults. I don't think rules mean much in this world anymore. we've done this a hundred times before." The two of them were almost to the top before I decided to follow along. I smiled as I felt brave enough to grab onto the wall and start pulling myself up, feeling like a teenager breaking curfew.