Jason Pagounis Thinks Zeus is a Slut

11

They must have been around three quarters of the way up Mount Olympus. 

The view was unlike that any of the men had ever seen before, and they understood why the gods chose to live here. Milos was thinking that if he had been born a rich man in Athens he would have quite like to have a holiday quarter here.

There was no clear path to the top, and the men weren't really sure what they would find there, but Jason had noticed a staircase which would lead inside the mountain. There was a magical feel to the stairway and Jason knew that this would take him to where to gods would be.

Nikolas and Milos wanted to follow him up, but Jason requested they wait there for him, and should he not reappear by nightfall, that they abandon the mission and head for home.

"Who will tell Stefanos the story of how close we came if we all shall perish? Who shall look after our wives, our children? You have helped me reach here and I will be eternally grateful for that, but three men, even men as strong as us Cretes, against Zeus will not change the odds compared to just one man. You cannot help me further, and should I not survive, someone must be left to start our mission of destroying every last temple devoted to that rapist."

Without looking back Jason stormed up the stairs, deeper inside the mountain until he came to a rather plain looking doorframe. He burst through the doors. The Olympians had been at council, so were sitting in their thrones, all facing the door he'd just come through. (They would later build a more secure door with a more dramatic flair to it. At that point they just hadn't expected any to try use it, or try break in during the middle of a meeting.)

"Oh mighty Zeus, you are a slut, and you are going to pay for what you have done."

"And what are you going to do about it, bitch?" Zeus laughed. Some of the other gods chortled too (although Poseidon had much more of a guffaw than a chortle).

It was not the reaction Jason had been expecting. The laughter in the room only increased as the gods took in Jason's confused reaction. Even if Jason had recited the speech he had rehearsed with Nikolas and Milos in Larissa, not a word of it would have been taken in as the gods were too occupied by their own hilarity (for whenever any of the gods would tell this story in the future, in their version it would be they who had responded to Jason), and the general drunkness one feels in Dionysus' presence. (Dionysus often was not allowed at council meetings, as him being there often led to atrocious decisions. He was simply allowed at this one as tensions were still running high after the Trojan War, and he was good at making the atmosphere merrier).

Although Zeus' favourite pastime was to decimate irritating mortals, he did somewhat (well, on the minuscule side of somewhat) admire Jason's bravery and didn't want to end Jason's life quite yet. He decided merely incapacitating him and sending him home would do nicely for the moment, and teach him a lesson.

And that is how our hero ended up waking up next to his heavily pregnant wife, with nothing but his pride harmed, and a flame of fury in his heart. (The statue of Zeus just a seventeen minute walk from his house would be engulfed in flames that night of similar severity to that felt in Jason's heart. What. A. Coincidence.)

Just let me tell you my friends, the only lesson Jason learned was that next time he would need a better plan. N.B. This was not the lesson Zeus hoped he would learn.