Oh, Lover Boy { LAMS } // College AU // completed

10

John

The pullout couch was gone, replaced with two bunk beds. The dresser now had a tv placed on it, and the carpeted floor seemed darker than before. John had purple and blue rings under his eyes. He didn't sleep much anymore.

It has been about three months since Herc, Laf, John, and Alex started living together. And it had all been fine. Alexander and John had started talking again, and had quickly put aside that awkwardness. They became best friends.

The two did everything together, they studied, they went out, they even had the same classes, oddly enough. But John wanted more. And Alexander didn't understand that.

It was on a Saturday afternoon when John had gotten the news. He had been happy that day. He was studying for law, and even was able to smuggle in some free time to draw. Little doodles of Alexander appeared on his paper.

"Hey John! Whatcha' drawing?" John slammed his drawing pad closed and turned towards the door. Alex stood their, leaning against the door frame.

"Nothin important. What do ya' need?" Alexander smiled and rushed into the room, closing the door behind him.

"I have the best news!"

John laughed. "Oh yeah?" Secretly, John was excited. Maybe Alexander was about to confess his undying love for him. Maybe he had the answers to the next major test the two had in law!

"Yeah! Okay, so basically," Alexander paused for dramatic effect, "I'm dating Eliza!" Alexander sat down next to John and jazzed-handed (wtf... basically he just did a jazz hand thing but Idk how to phrase it).

John frowned. He felt his heart breaking. "Cool," he said in a monotone voice as he turned and flipped to an empty place in his sketch book. Alexander, apparently, didn't notice Johns change in mood.

"I know!" he sighed happily and laid down on the bottom bunk. "She's great." John simply nodded. "Do you want to hear how it all happened?"

John looked over at Alex and managed to force out a laugh. "Sure."

Basically, Eliza had pulled Angelica aside while at the bar and asked her to talk to Alex for her. Obviously the sister did so, but not on the same night as John and Alex where with each other the whole time. It happened a few days later, apparently. Angelica had gone over to Alex's dorm and noticed how disgruntled the man looked. Apparently Alexander had just broken up with his boyfriend, a boyfriend John didn't know existed, and helped him through it.

The two had kept in touch and eventually Angelica brought up her sister and how she had a little crush on Alex. Alexander found this adorable, and went over to the Schuyler's dorm and talked the Elizabeth. The two decided they would like to get some lunch together. They got lunch together on multiple occasions, and Alex finally decided to ask her out.

After hearing the story, all John managed to udder was a simple "Wow."

Alexander giggled in agreement. "I know."

"Hey Alex, I'm going to go take a shower really quick," John mumbled on the brink of tears. He hadn't exactly been listening to the story. He was mostly trying to ignore the ache that made its way into his chest.

"Okay," Alex replied dreamily. John stood and threw his sketch book on the top bunk. He then walked  across the room to the small bathroom the four men shared. Every dorm had one; each dorm had a tiny kitchen, a just as tiny bathroom, and a large "front room" that also acts as a bedroom.

John closed and locked the door and started the shower. He took off his clothes and stepped into the running water. He stayed there for a while, just standing and staring at a wall. He then began to sob. Quiet little sobs, as John had never been loud.

He cried for what seemed to be hours. He cried until he heard the front door open and he heard Hercules and Lafayette's loud voices boom throughout the dorm. He cried until he fell to the shower's floor. He cried until he was dizzy and the water was freezing cold.

He cried and realized that no one could love him the way he could love them. He realized that he was horribly broken, and that the only person who could fix him was dating one of his best friends. He stopped crying when he realized that wasting time on tears was stupid and wouldn't get him anywhere.

He slowly stood and stumbled out of the shower, some how turning off the water. He put on his clothes and left the bathroom. The dorm was dark and silent. He crawled up to his bunk and stared at the ceiling. His nerves calmed as he listened to Alexander softly snoring on the bunk beneath him.

And right before sleep consumed him, John Laurens realized the scariest thing, at least the scariest thing to him.

That drunken night with Alex meant the world to him.

And it meant nothing to the other man.

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Oof

I'm tired so this chapter might be a mess

I'll look over it in the morning.