Back to You | Jeffrey Dean Morgan

Chapter 11

Mia's POV

I was sitting at a table in a fancy restaurant with my parents, Tony and his parents, and George - my boyfriend. He was sitting right next to me, his hand on my leg permanently. In my mind, I kept imagining Jeffrey next to me. As shitty as it was towards George, I just wished that Jeffrey was next to me instead. There was not a single moment I didn't think about that man, his handsome face, his tall body, his warm hands on my skin.

I had gotten together with George thinking I would be able to like him as much as he liked me, to have someone distract me from all my thoughts of Jeffrey. Hell, I even thought I saw him at the graduation ceremony...that's how much I thought about him. It sounded horrible towards George and I felt like shit, because the boy really liked me and I was just...fucking insane over Jeffrey Dean Morgan. One thing George knew though, was that Jeffrey and I had met a few times. I never went into detail about what we did, but he was aware of that.

I sometimes wished I was older so I could have Jeffrey's attention the way that beautiful woman at the bar did. I bet he was happy, that he never even thought about me. I bet that I didn't cross his mind even for one second and that his mind was free of me. Unlike mine. What a silly girl.

When I got home that night I sent Sarah my project before I applied for all the jobs in film editing I could find. When I got a job and saved enough money I would be able to buy my own house. There was really nothing wrong with my current apartment, I just needed something a bit bigger...and I honestly needed something new because every corner of my apartment reminded me of Jeffrey. Hell, the pillows on my couch in the living room still smelled like him. The kitchen table reminded me of our amazing sex against it, my bed reminded me how good it was to make love to Jeffrey, and it reminded me of that every I closed my eyes at night. Everywhere I went and everything I did reminded me of Jeffrey, the man I fell in love with.

Sometimes I wondered if that was what life had planned for me, if that's what my life was supposed to be like: I meet a man much, much older than me, I have sex with him, fall in love with him and then he disappears out of my life. I knew I wasn't going to get over Jeffrey because I had never felt like that ever. I had never felt like my heart was sinking to the floor every time I thought about how I was never going to be his, I had never lived so much off of memories like I did now.

The sound of my phone letting me know I got a text woke me up from my thoughts. I grabbed my phone and when I saw the name that had sent me a text I got butterflies in my stomach. Breathing heavily, I opened the text.

Jeffrey: Congratulations on your graduation! I hope you're proud of yourself, you should be. xojd

That was so nice and thoughtful of him. So I did cross his mind? He thought about me just like that? He thought about my graduation and wanted to congratulate me. I let myself smile a bit before I answered him.

Thank you! I am quite proud, yes.

Jeffrey: :)

I miss you...I wanted to write. I wish I could, but I didn't. It wouldn't be okay when it came to George. Although I was quite unhappy, as terrible as that sounded, I didn't want to hurt him like that. I didn't write anything else and Jeffrey didn't either. That was it.

Deciding I should do something to distract myself from everything, I went out and bought ice cream, potato chips and lots of chocolate candy before watching Stranger Things. I was going to be fine. I had to be fine.

The next day I woke up and decided that maybe if I tried harder with George, things would get better and I'd actually get to like him as much as he liked me. So I called him.

''What's up, babe?'' he answered.

''Hey, do you wanna do something today?'' I asked.

''Yes, of course. Anything in particular?'' he asked excitedly.

''I was thinking that maybe we could go get some food and then we can come to my place and watch a movie?'' I tried to sound as excited as him.

''That sounds good. What time should I pick you up?''

''How about 4-5? I don't want it to be too late when we get to my place''. I didn't want to fall asleep during the movie.

''Alright, see you then babe'' he said before hanging up. I had two hours to shower and get ready so I started doing just that.

*

''That food was amazing'' George told me as he grabbed my hand as we walked towards his car. I wished it was Jeffrey holding my hand.

''Yup''.

''Babe, listen to me'' he stopped me and grabbed my shoulders. ''What's wrong with you? You're barely smiling anymore''. Ah well, there we go.

''I'm fine'' I gave him a fake smile. How could I tell him that I kept thinking about Jeffrey?

''You should tell me if something's bothering you. I'm here'' he squeezed my hand to assure me that he was there for me. I appreciated him; he would make a really good friend.

When we got home he tried his best to be close to me, to hold me, to kiss my neck from time to time. I had to give it a try too, I really had to. So I turned around, grabbed his face with both my hands and kissed him. We made out like two teenagers that didn't really know what they were doing and while George was getting a boner I was feeling miserable. I shouldn't do that to him or to myself. So I started crying. The tears kept running down my cheeks and I couldn't stop them.

"Hey, Mia, what's wrong?" George asked, worry in his eyes. He was a kind guy.

"I...I just" I didn't know what to say, if I should say what I was actually feeling or if I should lie and continue to give George and I more tries.

"It's Jeffrey, isn't it? You love him".