A Story of a Killer

Chapter 15

Jacob

Scared wasn’t even the right word for this situation. What I was feeling, the proper word would be horrified. I don’t think I can ever get what has happened tonight. Since we pulled out of my driveway I haven’t said a word to Titus. He would try to make conversation but I would silently stare out the window still tightly gripping his hand. I could tell that he was getting annoyed with me because I wouldn’t let him in, but what the hell do you expect? I just killed my dad for christ sake how would any normal person feel?

I guess I wasn’t normal though since Titus said that we are the same. So I guess that means he’s killed people before too? Still, no matter how hard he squeezed my hand and told me everything was going to be okay I couldn’t calm down. My father’s body, the man who raised me for the past fifteen years in dead and bloody. I could hear as his body was being thrown around and would thump whenever a turn was too strong or Titus would break too hard and hearing that would make me cringe. I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that only half an hour ago I was capable of doing something so sinister to another person. I mean yeah he would hit me and I desperately wanted him to stop but that didn’t mean that I wanted him dead.

Dad was constantly hurting on the inside since mom passed and decided to take him pain out on me and get drunk. Sometimes after he was done he would drink almost half the beer bottles in the fridge and would cry out mom’s name. I felt for him, I really did but at the same time, I didn’t. I didn’t know mom as well as he did since he never talked about her but what I did know that in times of heartache it's okay to grieve and move on not grieve and abuse your son. So maybe I was a bit happy that he’s finally gone. Maybe somewhere deep down I did want him to die so that just for a moment I could be free so that every time I go home I wouldn’t have to constantly look over my shoulder so that every time I go to bed I wouldn’t have to lock my door and sleep with one eye open to make sure he wouldn’t come in and strangle me. 

 Him being gone can be good for me. I don’t have to worry about covering up any new bruises or cut marks because he isn’t here to do them anymore. Maybe befriending Titus wasn’t such a bad idea? He acted out one of my deepest darkest wishes, something that I would never have the courage to do, so for that, I was thankful. Turning my head towards Titus I examined his face. He held a hard expression, his lips were pursed and his eyebrows were scrunched together. The hand that was on the steering wheel was white, whiter than his normal skin tone and that let me know he was squeezing the wheel pretty tight. Adjusting my grip on his hand I squeezed hard to get his attention causing him to glance at me. 

“Yeah?” He asked glancing at me then back at the road.

“Where are we going, Titus?” We were currently in the middle of nowhere, obviously, we were outside of town but I wasn’t familiar with this area at all.

“I haven’t decided on where yet.” He was looking closer to the front window, probably looking for a place to turn into. I responded with a curt nod and it got silent once again. After a few more minutes of driving down the long and abandoned road, I decided to speak up again.

“Titus are we criminals now?” He responded without missing a beat. 

“ You’re a smart boy Jacob so what do you think?” He asked not looking at me but instead taking his hand out of mine, that one movement caused me to internally panic but I didn’t show it. For some reason, I needed the physical contact just so I could be stable in this situation.

“I mean-” He cut me off before I was able to finish.

“No. We aren't Jacob,” He took a short pause to tap on his chin. “Think of us as doctors, whose job is to cure a patient with a deadly parasite. You see, the world is our patient and humans are those parasites hurting said patient. Our job as doctors is to push out or get rid of those parasites and help the patient.” He said matter of factly.