My Savior

White Lies

My heart shattered in a million pieces after hearing those words from my own mother. I questioned my relationship with Y/N many times before this, but this is different. It’s either her or my whole family. I took my family for granted and now I get this. If I could go back to High School, I would. If I didn’t find the courage to confess my love to Y/N, this wouldn’t be happening. Or would it? I dropped off Y/N at her house and went back. I walked into the house and saw my mother sitting at the dinner table. She looked up to me and started to cry. The anger washed away when the tears did. Regret surrounded the two of us. I pulled up the chair next to her and sat down. She was balling and shaking. I put my hand on hers and said, “Mom, it’s going to be ok.” She started to cry even more and swallowed the pain. “How could you still call me mom. I can’t believe I said that to you. I’m so sorry, son.” I nodded my head and hugged her. She stood up as I held her. I noticed that my whole life she was protecting me from all evil and now I have to do the same. “It’s ok, Ma. We all make mistakes… I know I did. Picking Y/N over you guys.” She pulled away and shook her head, “She is family. I said some pretty hurtful things before, but I didn’t mean it. I’m jealous that you have someone you adore. Me and your father stopped loving each other a long time ago. Our relationship was a lie just for you kids. I was never happy with him and now that he’s dying, I feel so much guilt for not feeling the way I was suppose to feel.” I nodded and pulled her into a hug, “I’m sorry for everything.” She spoke into my chest, “I accepted you two a long time ago. We are going through a lot right now and we need you. But we all know, you need her. Just promise me you won’t lose yourself trying to fit her standards. That’s what happened to me.”  She let go and looked at me and smiled, “Now go out and be happy. I think that’s the only thing keeping me sane right now.” “What is?” I questioned. She sighed and said, “Seeing one of us happy.”