Blowing In the Wind

Making Up the Bed

Another failed date. I hope that bitch was happy. I will never understand why girls do shit like that. Like you couldn't wait till the date was over with? Just dirty ass females. And fuck Jayson too! He could have had some fucking self control! I cannot stand when niggas do me so wrong and treat me like shit. They are such bitches! Yeah he texted and called multiple times but that doesn't mean shit to me. He knew what he was doing and that Gabby bitch definitely knew what the fuck she was doing. How could a woman stoop so low like that? I was having a nice time until she showed the fuck up. I would never do no shit like that! I should have never went on that double date. I should have stayed at home. This was a bad idea. It's like I will never truly understand why I can't keep a relationship when I'm doing all the right things.

I took off all of my clothes and changed into something more comfortable. As I was getting ready to go to bed, Roger texted me. I was going to put my phone on dnd because I didn't wanna hear from anyone. But why not? If Jayson can talk to another bitch, then I can talk to another nigga too.

Two days have passed since the date. I woke up the next morning and checked my phone and I had two missed messages from Lola, 1 missed call from my mom, and 10 new missed messages from Jayson. Me being me, I opened up Jayson's messages first. He kept apologizing, he wanted to see me, he wanted to make shit right, and he said he'll even show up unannounced just to make up with me. I texted him back and told him if he really means what he said then he'll be here right now trying to beg for my forgiveness. He won't move a muscle...then my doorbell rang three times. *sigh* I ran downstairs to answer the door and of course it was him with the sad fake ass puppy eyes.

"Can I come in?" He asked.

"You have five minutes," I said, letting him in and closing the door.

"Look...what happened Saturday was not meant to happen. I havent talked to her since we broke up and I guess it was a bittersweet feeling. I don't have feelings for her, it was just for a moment. I didn't know she was going to follow us around but that gave me no excuse to abandon you like that. I'm so sorry I left you and embarrassed you. I tried to find you but I realized you had left," He said.

"I know I didn't tell you everything about my love life and what I've been through but I just want you to know that it hursts too keep feeling like shit because you niggas don't have any sense these days. Ya have absolutely no respect. The amount of times I keep getting treated like crap! This is why I'm single," I said.

"I know, I know. I've been through it too and I know it didn't seem like it but it most definitely happened. After we broke up, all girls ever wanted from me what sex and when I first met you I saw you wasn't like that at all. It only takes 15 minutes and they are ready to get naked. They care about my looks more than me being an educated man. They don't even bother getting to know me. That's why I was so nervous around you when we went on that date because I didn't know if you were gonna give it up," He said.

"I'm not that desperate for dick. They need help and healing. I don't even ask for much. Really I don't. Just be caring, honest, be consistent and take me out a few times then we can see how it goes. I don't ever make it past the dating stage. Sometimes I think it's just me but now I know the game. I realized that it's the insecure men who prey on vulnerable women. They use them for closure and as soon as they get it, they go on to the next bitch without a trace. No explanation, no apology, no nothing. I'm done healing and fixing a nigga for the next bitch. I'm not a place-holder either. You either want me or not. But nah, you men can't be honest with yourselves. So Imma tell you right now, if you still have feelings for your ex girlfriend then you can leave. I'm not in competition with no bitch. No bitch. I saw how you looked at her ass when she walked away and I saw how you were cheering her on when she got in first place on the go-carts. You didn't even clap for me until I got finished. You walked off with her like you were there all by yourself. You forgot about me and one thing I don't do is wait on no nigga to realize what he's done," I said.